Run Max Run

Wow, time sure flies when you are busy with an 18 month old! And recently we have been very busy, it is strange, some weeks I feel like we are always at home and I feel like we HAVE to leave, but other weeks {like this week} we have been GO GO GO. we worked a little, played a lot, and even had an interview....yes I have a job, but it is very part time and does not pay very well, so when I got an email from a family who lived closer to me, wanted to pay me more, and was not expecting twins I got a little excited. I think the interview went well {even though my son did end up climbing into their tub in their master bathroom....}  I am torn, I would feel REALLY bad leaving the family I am working for now, but this job would be A LOT better, so I feel like I have to do what is best for me and my family. And when I think back to how I was just let go so easily at my last job I feel like their are just no guarantees and that I need to go with what works for us now. I am working next Thursday, but I figure if I am offered the new job I would tell them right away that I could no longer work for them. And yes I would feel bad, but hey once you quit you don't have to see them anymore, especially since I haven't really even started with them yet, I have been like an "on call" nanny until July, so they would still have time to find someone new. Well... I will have to update on what I do, I shouldn't get too far ahead of myself since the job hasn't been offered to me yet, but it seems very likely at this point. On another note, this week I have been working on letting Max have a little more independence, nothing too extreme, just a little more room to run at the park, and a little more space between us when we walk through the mall, and of course I am always close enough to catch him if he falls or move him quickly from harms way, but I feel like he needs to test his boundaries a bit, and even if it is hard for me to see him climb the little stairs and slide down the slide without me I know it is good for him, and he is actually a pro at it! I think it is because he is my first baby that I am so protective, but I need to give him a little room to grow so I am working on it.... baby steps. This Saturday night I will be leaving him with my Mom and Dad {currently the only people trusted to babysit} so my husband and I can have a date night. I feel like this is always a big step for me, because it is still hard for me to leave him I guess it will always be hard, but I will get used to it. I hope that by September I am ready to let him be watched by the daycare at the gym, so I can get my butt into shape. We'll see, I should be able to handle it, I will be in the same building and I am sure he would have fun. I am just going to take it a little at a time and try and balance Mommy and Max time, I want him to need me, but not to the point of being needy. I was reading in my book last night about how parenting is always different than what we had pictured it would be when we were pregnant, wow this is so true, you never think of just how much you will love them and want to protect them from EVERYTHING. But I need to realize that he will scrape his knees and bump his head, but he'll be okay. I just want to always be there with him, but I know I need to give him some space and let him explore and learn without me over his shoulder.... so I'm doing my best. Even if it is hard for me, I am sure my son will think its great to have a little more room to run, and room to grow.

Kelly Callahan