My Mommy Powers

Where do I start? We'll just start with how I got my title. I came home from the Children's Loony Bin {a.k.a Mc Donalds on a weekday when schools are out} And actually we'll pause here for a moment, I have some issues. So McDonalds is fast food right? I mean I know they aren't killing the chickens back there but come on.  Can someone please tell me why they are not expecting a lunch rush? Or why it takes them twenty minutes to get a happy meal and oatmeal on a tray? Oh wait, we had an apple juice too, that must be it.  And yes, I fought the urge to step behind the counter and get my own food from the little warming drawers. Ugh, anyway, back to the title, when I got home from the madness and watery oatmeal experience I was happy {at first} to see that my husband was home. I had left the house in more than a rush this morning to get Max to preschool and had not been home since, so  I was sure I'd come in to see something picked up, or maybe even some clean bottles { why I thought this is beyond me} I should've  known better just by the way my man had skillfully pulled into his spot in the driveway avoiding the trash cans that needed to be pulled in. So after I pull in the trash cans, get the mail, and wait for the dog to pee, I finally come inside to see the exact mess I left behind {duh} and where is my hubby? Nice and comfy watching TV on the couch waiting to head to the dentist. What I don't understand is how he can sit there and look at the mess without at least putting his dishes in the sink... I guess this is a guy thing, and I will never understand it. I am very different, give me ten minutes with a kid not pulling my leg or a baby on my boob and I will have this place looking pretty damn good. So what do I do? Well first I have to feed the baby, then I have to pump. While feeding my love I text my friend to ask her why it is only I know how to clean, this is when the light bulb came on, she was amazed I was not aware of my special powers to see what no one else can...now it all makes sense. I started thinking about it and you know what? I have a lot of powers. Not only can I see messes, I am the only one with the power to make them disappear. I am also the only one who can magically make a pile of dirty clothes clean and make them appear neatly folder or hanging {which ever you prefer} in the closet. I am also able to go to the grocery store and actually buy things that will produce meals, and on that note I also have the power to get dinner on the table and somehow to also make the kitchen look as if nothing happened. I can heal most boo boos with a hug and a kiss, I have answers for the hundreds of questions I am asked on a daily basis, and I sometimes even have enough power to shower and get out of my PJs {this last one is a hard power to master} My latest power is creating human life{round two}, and I am now also a cow, as I can be milked multiple times a day. And if I am sick? Don't worry, all of my powers seem to work just fine, they are sometimes slowed down, but amazingly things still get done.  I also have the power to function on very little sleep, and am on call {to anyone who I gave birth to} 24/7. My patience is not always up to par, and a good mood is not guaranteed, but my powers will be there, if I like it or not. My powers may not always be acknowledged, but do I care? No, I don't. Because I love being a Mom, and having my Mommy powers help me be a better Mom, and who doesn't need some special powers to help them get through the day?

Kelly Callahan