Free Book Lesson's

This all started on trip to the mall yesterday. My friend and I did a little Christmas shopping and on the way out of the mall my friend had me run into a used book store so I could see how awesome it was {yes, a used book store can be awesome} I ran inside, looked around, confirmed the awesomness, and headed back to the car. On my way out of the store the coupon diva inside me had to look at the FREE book table, I mean they're free, I had to look. As I looked through this random pile of broken books and empty puzzle boxes I selected a book to entertain us for the day. My selection? The Making of an Unshakable Character By : an assortment of 12 people that have long names and I know you won't want this book so I'm not typing them all out. And side note : Shout out to Becca Langley, I have your book from 2002, why would you buy this?? Anyway, lets get started. The book begins with a quiz {clearly geared for younger readers, but we did it anyway} let's just say we didn't score all so well... Our results landed us in the "One Shaky Character" section {and for the record I did earn one more point than my friend, and by me pointing that out I am giving an example of my bad character...} In a nutshell the book is telling me that I think too much of what others think about me and my actions, and that I am not considering my daily life choices on a deeper level. Nicely played book, but I'm still not convinced my character is flawed, let's see what else you've got. Up next, if I continue down my path with this shaky character of mine I'm off on an "ignorant and uncaring journey" {harsh} Yet, if I decide to change {by reading this book of course} I will have "nothing to hide,nothing to prove, and walk with freedom and security" Well, personally I would call this being conceited. And if I have nothing to prove doesn't that mean I lack motivation in life?  Maybe it is good to walk around not being completely secure with my surroundings, people can be crazy...And lets be honest, we all have something to hide, even if it is small and insignificant to others, no one wants their whole life "out there" right ??! Well the book now tells me that my character tune up will require "daily attention" I'll give them 20 minutes.. . after scanning the first pages I reach the next chapter "Is my integrity worth 32 cents" yes, okay, skip that chapter. I'm doing great. The next Chapter that catches my eye? "Wipe the Poop off your Face" wow, I seriously couldn't make this up... is this really a book? I need to write a book... back to the poop on my face, apparently I need to see my anger and regret as poop, this poop is on my face {gross} now why would I want to walk around with poop on my face all day long? No one would like me, and I'd be in a bad mood. This is true, if I did have poop on my face I would be in a bad mood, and it would be in my best interest to wipe it off, but still, should this really be Chapter 16 in my character changing book{and did I need a book to know I don't want poop on my face?}I think not. I decide to stop reading there. I am sad for poor Becca, I really hope she didn't let this book convince her she was a bad person, because trust me, that first chapter is brutal, they make us "shaky character" people sound like a bad bunch{ judging by the sudden hault in highlighting she gave up on day five, so that speaks highly of her}. I think even a "self help" book, or whatever you would call this nonsense should focus on the helping part, we all know our flaws, no need to point them out, or make them up, and make them a billion times more awful sounding, geez.  So I'd say my free book is a fail, except I haven't yelled at a book this much, well, ever. It was that bad. I think I'll stick with my "shaky" character, I seem to be doing just fine, and somehow I have made it through life without  "poop on my face",  thank goodness. So next time you see some free books, grab one, maybe you'll find a good read, or maybe you'll find 12 people on a power trip who can't write, trying to tell you how to change your "shaky" life in for an unshakable fake one. You never know :)

Kelly Callahan

My Mommy Powers

Where do I start? We'll just start with how I got my title. I came home from the Children's Loony Bin {a.k.a Mc Donalds on a weekday when schools are out} And actually we'll pause here for a moment, I have some issues. So McDonalds is fast food right? I mean I know they aren't killing the chickens back there but come on.  Can someone please tell me why they are not expecting a lunch rush? Or why it takes them twenty minutes to get a happy meal and oatmeal on a tray? Oh wait, we had an apple juice too, that must be it.  And yes, I fought the urge to step behind the counter and get my own food from the little warming drawers. Ugh, anyway, back to the title, when I got home from the madness and watery oatmeal experience I was happy {at first} to see that my husband was home. I had left the house in more than a rush this morning to get Max to preschool and had not been home since, so  I was sure I'd come in to see something picked up, or maybe even some clean bottles { why I thought this is beyond me} I should've  known better just by the way my man had skillfully pulled into his spot in the driveway avoiding the trash cans that needed to be pulled in. So after I pull in the trash cans, get the mail, and wait for the dog to pee, I finally come inside to see the exact mess I left behind {duh} and where is my hubby? Nice and comfy watching TV on the couch waiting to head to the dentist. What I don't understand is how he can sit there and look at the mess without at least putting his dishes in the sink... I guess this is a guy thing, and I will never understand it. I am very different, give me ten minutes with a kid not pulling my leg or a baby on my boob and I will have this place looking pretty damn good. So what do I do? Well first I have to feed the baby, then I have to pump. While feeding my love I text my friend to ask her why it is only I know how to clean, this is when the light bulb came on, she was amazed I was not aware of my special powers to see what no one else can...now it all makes sense. I started thinking about it and you know what? I have a lot of powers. Not only can I see messes, I am the only one with the power to make them disappear. I am also the only one who can magically make a pile of dirty clothes clean and make them appear neatly folder or hanging {which ever you prefer} in the closet. I am also able to go to the grocery store and actually buy things that will produce meals, and on that note I also have the power to get dinner on the table and somehow to also make the kitchen look as if nothing happened. I can heal most boo boos with a hug and a kiss, I have answers for the hundreds of questions I am asked on a daily basis, and I sometimes even have enough power to shower and get out of my PJs {this last one is a hard power to master} My latest power is creating human life{round two}, and I am now also a cow, as I can be milked multiple times a day. And if I am sick? Don't worry, all of my powers seem to work just fine, they are sometimes slowed down, but amazingly things still get done.  I also have the power to function on very little sleep, and am on call {to anyone who I gave birth to} 24/7. My patience is not always up to par, and a good mood is not guaranteed, but my powers will be there, if I like it or not. My powers may not always be acknowledged, but do I care? No, I don't. Because I love being a Mom, and having my Mommy powers help me be a better Mom, and who doesn't need some special powers to help them get through the day?

Kelly Callahan

Instincts of a Pregnant Girl

Well I'm getting there... on Wednesday I will be 29 weeks along in my pregnancy. So far I have had a great pregnancy, just the usual pregnant girl complaints, sore back, don't like gaining weight, and anxiety over the new little girl about to enter our lives!

 While being pregnant many things have changed {duh} but the most interesting things I've noticed? I think while pregnant, women get some natural instincts back, now this may seem strange, but many can be compared to those of an animal. For example, whenever I open the turkey my dog is in the kitchen in two seconds flat, no matter where she is or what she is doing, why? Because her amazing sense of smell. Well, the other day I was on the couch fighting off this awful cold and all of the sudden knew my hubby was cutting into an avocado... it smelled awful! Now before I was pregnant I never even associated a certain smell to an avocado, but I sure do now, must be those natural instincts coming through and enhancing my senses. Not convinced? Well, pregnant women graze like cows {we do...we eat a little of everything...all the time}This is especially true the bigger we get since our tummies don't hold as much so we have to eat little meals throughout the day.  Our hair begins to grow in thick like many animals {only for us to shed this hair after the birth, lovely} We have a need for things to be clean {nesting anyone?} just like cats will clean themselves a million times, never feeling "clean". Ever notice how many spots your dog sleeps in every night? A pregnant girl finds it just as hard to get comfy as they do, we are changing positions constantly! Here's a good one, have you ever been calmly petting a cat and they just adore you, then a second later they are attacking you??? Well, you just had a crash course in pregnancy hormones...it's very true, us pregnant folks can be quite moody.

I think my Mother put it best, while we are pregnant we are back to basics, back to our instincts. And animals are always acting on instinct, okay maybe not always, if they are well trained, but they sure act on their instincts more frequently than not. So I'm not sure why I decided to compare myself to an animal, but it makes some sense, right?

Kelly Callahan